


Bridezilla

by Jupitrie



Category: Powerpuff Girls
Genre: F/M, Family Drama, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-01
Updated: 2012-08-13
Packaged: 2017-10-18 20:57:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/193218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jupitrie/pseuds/Jupitrie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can't escape the biggest, baddest monster in town...when you're her Maid of Honor. M for language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

  


  


* * *

Buttercup remembered her keys before walking down the steps of the apartment. She pocketed them in her purse before walking across the street, and hopped into the beat up, sky blue punch bug. She adjusted her mirror, buckled herself in, and then started up the car.

Just as she was pulling out of the parallel parking spot, the car—with it's engine still running—suddenly felt like it hit a giant crowbar, as it was slowly being elevated off the ground. Buttercup glanced at her rear-view mirror and calmly turned off her engine. She waited with crossed arms for the man that had literally stopped the car with his bare hands, to put the bumper down, and walk around the car.

"-Da' fuck are you doin'?" the passanger seat's door was flung open by an angry looking man dressed only in teal boxers.

"Driving." Buttercup said in a defensive tone. They both wore the same 'What the fuck?' look on their faces.

The man snorted, and leaned inward. "Yeah. Where to?"

"Madagascar. What the hell? Where do you think I'm driving to? Townsville, you moron! I've got that wedding to get to."

"Wha! You're getting married?" the man stumbled backward. Shock and hurt mingled on his face.

"No, you _idiot_! My sister is! I told you, like, fifteen times this past week alone!"

"Heh, oh...right! Which one?" he asked, a stupid grin on his face.

"Were you listening to me at _all_? Quick, what's one thing I said yesterday. Anything." Buttercup demanded.

His reply was a dashing smile. "Good morning." He lifted his eyebrow, "Lov-er."

"Ugh." Buttercup started the car again. "I can't believe I'm driving this dump over there. I can't get away from you fast enough."

"Yeah, why _are_ you borrowing Mr. McNoy's crummy car anyway?"

"I need to pick up grandpa on the way there. And he's too fragile to fly. Can you please shut the door?" Buttercup snapped toward the man.

"Wait, why wasn't _I_ invited?"

"Why weren't you invited— " Buttercup repeated his question under her breath before gesturing toward him. "You're like...a concentrated dose of _asshole_ from all the dicks in the world shoved into one being. And besides, Blossom hates you."

"Ohhhh, so it's _Blossom's_ wedding."

"Ugh." Buttercup spat in disgust. "Just close the door."

"Sure thing, babes."

Buttercup felt the telltale push of wind that followed after a car door closed, but she also felt another presence in the car. Closed her eyes and sucked in a calm, meditative breath.

"Get out." She was proud of herself to have said it in a level voice.

"Whaaaa?"

"No, seriously Butch! I don't have time for this today. GET OUT!"

"B-B-but..." Butch put a hand over his wounded heart. "I want to _go_."

"No you don't! You weren't even listening when I was talking about the wedding! Can you get your ass _out_?" she punctuated the end of her sentence with a shove.

"Hey, hey, _hey_." Butch said suddenly stern and grabbed Buttercup's wrist that came at him. "If you put another dent in this car, I'mma gonna get my cane and whip you _so hard_."

"That's not even Mr. McNoy's accent." Buttercup critiqued. She leaned back in the drivers seat, "But you make a valid point. No more dents in the car? Fine! I'll just never drive with _you_ anymore! _GET OUUUUT!_ " she shouted toward Butch.

"Heh. What would you do if Mr. McNoy really _did_ whip you. I'd pay hefty sums to watch that." Butch chortled. "'Ohhh! Mr. McNoy! _Harder_!'" he said, imitating a girly voice.

Buttercup whipped her hand back and slapped him hard across the face.

"HEY!" Butch started to laugh madly like a maniac.

As they started a small, but harmful fist-fight/arm wrestle in a borrowed car, Buttercup had successfully leaned over and tugged open the passenger door while also get her legs out of from underneath the dash board. Several huffing, and shoving later, Butch's ass had managed to slide off his seat- and he was slipping out of the car. What saved Buttercup was when his boxers started to slip as well.

Just as Butch noticed that half of his uncovered ass was now basically brushing the pavement below the car, he finally let go of the parts of the car that was keeping him inside to try to hoist his shorts up. Buttercup saw this as her only opening, and the minute Butch tried to hover and fix his boxers, she floored it.

"Haha." She laughed dryly and leaned over to shut the door while taking a crazy illegal left turn. She glanced at her rear-view mirror and was able to catch the last glimpse of Butch rolling on the concrete, his boxers now completely down to his ankles. "God, what a looser." She snorted.

She was expecting a green flash any second now, and kept a vigilant eye on the road, the mirrors, and especially the skies. But ten minutes into the drive, Buttercup felt all of her tension leave her body. She even subconsciously turned on the radio.

She heard her phone vibrate and leaned forward a bit to shuffle around in her purse. She dug out her phone and pressed it to her ear.

"What?" was her customary phone-greeting.

"Did you pick up grandpa, yet?" Bubble's voice asked.

"I'm doing that right now." Buttercup sighed.

"You're still not there yet?"

"I'm driving." Buttercup reminded. "So yeah, I'm not there yet!" she snapped with irritation.

"Ok. Oh. Buttercup, I have some bad news..."

"Ugh, please. I can't take anymore." Buttercup hissed. She took a deep breath and finally hissed, "What is it?"

"Blossom wants _all_ the brides maids to wear pink. No exceptions."

"WHAT?" Buttercup swerved, almost clipping a biker. She took ragged breaths and shook her head. "Tell me your joking. Bloss said the maids of honor could wear the colors they want."

"Yeah, well...you know Blossom, she had another bridezilla fit last night. And one of the things that changed was our dress color. I just picked ours up from the store. It...actually looks nice. And BC you totally have the eye color for this dress, it's going to be ok—"

But Buttercup already cut her sister off with an unwavering, blood-curdling scream.

She screamed her lungs out for the remainder of the phone conversation and even after Bubbles hung up. She only realized she was still screaming until she finally parked the car in front of Grandpa Utonium's house.

She slowly peeled her hands off of the steering wheel and winced as she noticed that she had squeezed it so hard that she left actual grip-marks. She took another deep, meditative breath. She remembered what her zen master had taught her. She had to keep in control. Getting mad over a silly dress was beneath her. She'd dressed in sillier dresses before. She always survived.

Besides, it wasn't like anybody she intended on impressing was going to be at the wedding. Just relatives and a few girlfriends. Buttercup wasn't afraid of being a girl. Yeah! So what if she had to wear pink? Pink was just a color.

A completely unflattering color in her opinion...but it was just one day.

Buttercup calmed herself down, and reminded herself that this _was_ Blossom's day. And although that sister of hers drove her up the wall, she was still her sister. She couldn't be selfish.

And look at the bright side! She got to pick up grandpa Utonium! She loved that crazy ol' nut!

She quickly zipped toward her grandpa's house and rang the doorbell.

The door opened.

"Grandpaaa..." Buttercup trailed off.

She narrowed her eyes as someone who definitely wasn't her grandpa, opened her grandfather's front door.

"What. The. _FUCK!_ " she screeched.

Butch gave her a dashing grin on the other side of the doorway. "You like?" he asked, gesturing his dressed up body. He didn't really 'suit up' but he was wearing a blazer and some pants. A significant improvement.

"You can't come. That's final, Butch." Buttercup said.

"Aw why NOT!" Butch whined.

"Where's grandpa?" Buttercup sighed.

"Is that my granddaughter I hear?"

"Your favorite granddaughter!" Buttercup corrected smartly, seeing the old croon coming into view pushing the stick to his mobile chair. She zipped passed Butch and hugged her grandpa Utonium and even gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Oh, you look beautiful, dear." Grandpa quickly complimented.

"Oh, ha." Buttercup brushed a nervous hand through her hair. "No, grandpa— I didn't even shower yet. I'm going to dress up at home with Bubbles and-"

"Well you still look absolutely beautiful. My poor John. He must worry about you all the time— you're living alone now, aren't you?" Grandpa patted Buttercup's blushing cheeks.

"Grandpa." Buttercup rolled her eyes. "I can take care of myself just fine." She then pulled away and frowned. "Talking about safely living alone; why did you let Butch into your house, Grandpa? You know you have valuables in plain sight."

Her grandfather chuckled. "He found a way in, I suppose. But you don't have to worry, he hasn't stolen anything that I'm aware of."

"Oh grandpa." Buttercup said in a voice full of pity, "You're so naive." She floated behind him and started to push his wheel chair out the door.

Butch, however, blocked her path.

"You can't go through until you make me your plus one."

Buttercup sighed and closed her eyes. "Butch, I didn't want to tell you this, but I already _have_ a plus one."

Butch rolled his eyes, "Pya right. Who?"

"Mitch." Buttercup shrugged.

"MITCH? YOU MEAN _MITCHEL MITCHELSON_?"

"Lower your voice!" Grandpa snapped.

"Yeah, Butch! Lower your voice!" Buttercup frowned. "And yeah, Mitch! Remember you said you didn't want to go to some 'dumb old wedding'. And since Mitch is a fun dance partner, I just thought— why the hell not? Besides he and the groom are distant friends. It's going to be great." She smiled, but then stopped smiling quickly to say, "So move it."

"B-but, Buttercup." Butch whimpered.

"No buts! MOVE!" Buttercup ordered.

"Ahhh, why don't we just invite him? He seems to really want to come-" Grandpa was starting to cave.

"Grandpa, _no_!" Buttercup hissed.

"Oh GRANDPAPA!" Butch was already aware that the grandfather was his ticket into the wedding before Buttercup could cart her grandfather away. "Thank your merciful heart! Yes! _Yes_! I would like to be your plus one!"

"Ah, lad, it's no problem. I'm sure Mrs. Utonium won't mind. Haha, she's probably up there shaking her head at us right now." Joked grandpa. Buttercup covered her face promptly to scream into herself. She didn't even realize Butch cutting in front of her to help roll her grandfather toward the car until Butch was waving at her from inside the driver's seat to hurry the fuck up.

Buttercup was not a happy maid of honor, that's for sure.

She got into the passenger's seat. Fought with her seat belt roughly before buckling up, and glanced at a giddy Butch.

"I've never been _invited_ to a wedding before!" he said happily as he started the engine. "I've crashed a few of them. That was always fun."

"You better drive safely, maniac." Buttercup warned. "My grandpa is fragile." When she didn't get a response from her grandfather, she looked at the back seat and frowned. "Wait, where is grandpa?"

"I _really_ like leaning back while I drive, and if gramps was in the back, he wouldn't get no leg room...So I put him in the trunk." Butch shrugged.

There was a long pause before Buttercup bitch-slapped him again.

* * *

"Buttercup!"

Buttercup got out of the driver's seat and slammed the door roughly before turning to address the woman that was marching toward her. The woman was none other than her sister, and bride-to-be, Blossom Utonium. She wasn't dressed yet, but had obviously finished taking her shower for she had a towel wrapped in a turbine around her head.

"Buttercup, all I asked was for you to pick up grandpa before coming— and you still managed to be late." Blossom shook her head in disbelief. "How did you ever do it?" she said in a nasty, sarcastic tone.

Buttercup turned scarlet in a second, her lips thinned, and she drew in a breath to scream again, but suddenly the woman slapped a hand over her own mouth.

"I'm sorry." Blossom sighed. "Buttercup, I'm sorry. That was wrong of me." She hissed at herself and shook her head. Buttercup gave her a strange look in return before Blossom suddenly hugged her. "Thank you, is what I meant. Thanks. I know this is annoying for you."

But while Blossom hugged her sister-she noticed someone pulling her grandfather out of the car and recoiled in shock.

"What...in the _world_ , is he doing here?" Blossom asked, pointing a shaky finger toward the green Ruff.

"Making me late, is one thing." Buttercup said in a huff. "Literally, he fought tooth and nail just to come along. I tried to shake him off but-"

Blossom already understood and was walking toward the green man.

"Listen, you-" Blossom said standing in front of the ruff with her hands on her hips.

"Oh helloooo~!" Butch smiled back, rubbing his hands together. "Is this the lovely bride-to-be?" he turned to Buttercup, "Are weddings like birthdays where you can, like— pinch or kiss the bride how many times you like?"

"No." Blossom replied back through gritted teeth. "Look, what are you here for exactly?"

Butch started to hum the wedding march.

"No, you're not." Blossom said gently. "Because you see...I really dislike you. And you know that I dislike you. And you _know_ that making me irritated amuses Buttercup, which in a sweet sense, you trying to do, but on the cost of MY WEDDING DAY." She whispered harshly. "So you could be here for two possible reasons. One, either to annoy the living hell out of my maids of honor and me, who has a lot on their plate already-" suddenly Blossom snapped toward Buttercup. "Why aren't you getting dressed?" Buttercup huffed and rolled her eyes—wheeling grandpa away. "Or two-" Blossom continued, just as she thought Buttercup's super-hearing range was clear. "Brick sent you."

Butch looked cool and collected as he rested his arm on the hood of Mr. McNoy's car.

"Now why would you think that?" Butch asked casually.

"I swear, if it's the latter, heads will roll. _Especially_ yours." Blossom hissed.

"Sweet, _sweet_ , pinkette." Butch smiled. "I'm here to annoy the living daylights out of Buttercup." he said in one breath, "Are you happy now? Also, did you know her plus one is Mitch? Funny right? Last time I checked, I think I was the one who was considered her 'plus one', what with the fact that I fucking _rock, her, world_. Every god damn time she asks too. Even when she doesn't ask. I _rock_ , her— Hey! Wait! Where are you going!" Butch yelled after Blossom, who was running back toward her house. "God damn it." Butch slammed his car door shut. "Nobody listens to me. Rude."

* * *

To be continued...

  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't have to write a disclaimer for every chapter, do I? Eh, I guess better safe than sorry: I don't own the PPG. The Powerpuff girls are Craig McCracken's creation.

"Butch is here?" Bubbles asked while checking her old bedroom's window. "Wow, he's gotten cuter...but he still has such bad taste in clothes..."

"Get away from the window, you're only in your slip!" Blossom snapped.

"Will you please, _please_ take a chill pill!" Bubbles hissed back and went back to patting her hair with a towel.

"Aaaah. An uninterrupted shower." Buttercup strolled into her old room and sighed again. "No annoying idiots asking to use the toilet. No hot water suddenly getting switched to cold...Is this heaven? Waaaait." She looked at the dress that was placed on her old dresser that literally had her name stamped across it. "No. It's hell." She hissed. "Blossom! This is HELL!"

"Sheesh." Blossom huffed. "It's just one day. And you'll look _beautiful._ "

Buttercup picked up the faded rose dress and wrinkled her nose.

"At least it's not like— hot magenta or something." Bubbles said coming out from the closet in her own pink dress. "See? Not too shabby. I actually like it." Bubbles nodded toward Blossom. "Can you do me up?" she asked, and the bride was happy to comply as she zipped up the back.

It really was a nice dress. The cut was flattering to those with curves, and for those who didn't have any would have the nice option to look a little fashionista. It was elegant and simple, with thick straps coming to form a sweet curl of fabric slightly off the center of the cleavage.

"Yes, it does look nice." Blossom sighed happily. "And you'll match with Robin, Esther, and Wednesday. So! Here you are." She said handing Bubbles two pink ribbons.

"What are these for?" Bubbles asked.

"For...your hair." Blossom said in an obvious tone. "I made an exception for you to have two bows in your hair because you always _did_ look good in two pigtails."

"I was planning on leaving it down and curled, actually." Bubbles smiled gently. "It _is_ a special occasion..."

"Well these are just an option. If you _want_ to put bows in your hair..."

"Oh, well thanks." Bubbles said and took them. "But really I think I won't— "

"PUT THE DAMN BOWS IN YOUR HAIR, OR I SWEAR...I KNOW ALL OF YOUR WEAKNESSES— DON'T _MAKE_ ME GO THERE!"

Buttercup and Bubbles blinked.

"Oh." Blossom whimpered, shocked at herself as she rested a dainty looking hand over her chest and panted, "I-I'm sorry. I'm...stressing out."

"Damn right you are." Buttercup grumbled and took her dress and marched into the closet.

"Do you need a drink?" Bubbles asked her sister.

"A drink?" she snorted, "Oh, you mean...like a glass of water? Yeah, maybe?" Blossom rubbed her arm. "I have to get ready soon myself...but I'm just _so_ nervous."

"What are you nervous of?" Buttercup asked in a muffled voice behind the closet door. "You couldn't stop talking about your dashing prince charming a few months ago."

"Yeah, well it's normal for girls to feel a little stressed on their wedding day." Bubbles said in a supportive tone. "Here, sit down. If you want, we can talk."

Blossom sighed. "Y-yeah...that would be nice."

Buttercup emerged from the closet and headed straight for the nearest mirror and balked.

"This dress makes me look like I'm some Barbie-wannabe!" Buttercup wailed.

When she turned around, she saw Bubbles gawking at a sobbing Blossom.

"What...happened?" Buttercup asked in an exhausted tone.

"Y-you don't like your dress." Blossom sobbed and covered her face. Bubbles hurriedly started patting Blossom's shoulders while also sending a look of distress to Buttercup.

"Oh dear _lord_." Buttercup grumbled. "Blossom! If it wasn't for the fact that you're getting married today, I would _so_ totally hit you right now."

"I actually agree with Buttercup for once." Bubbles nodded with a frown. "Blossom, what the heck is going on?"

"Nothing!" Blossom said sniffing. "I just...I'm just..."

Both of her sisters waited, with their arms crossed and their eyebrows raised. Blossom looked down at her lap, fidgeted with her hands and finally looked up.

"Is it eight o' clock already? I have to get ready!" she said and zipped out of the room in a bolt of pink.

"She's... _crazy_." Buttercup deadpanned.

"I _know_. Do you have a digital camera handy?" Bubbles said excitedly. "This will be a major _hit_ on Yo'tube!"

* * *

"Hiya Professor." Bubbles said in passing as she floated down the staircase. She had noticed her father figure crouched on all fours by the window, and merely though he was looking for lost keys or what not, but he immediately looked up after she greeted him and flagged her down.

"Bubbles! Perfect timing!" Professor shouted and motioned for his daughter to come crouch by him. "I was just thinking of either calling your or Buttercup to investigate something for me."

"Investigate?" Bubbles put down her things and frowned. "Professor we're both really busy right now!" she sighed. "If Blossom saw you-"

"Come here." Professor motioned Bubbles quickly toward the window he was crouched under. Bubbles didn't realize that it was already strange how sneaky he looked. She walked over, and immediately her father tugged her down. "Now, use your x-ray vision and tell me what you see."

Bubbles did.

"Well?" Professor asked.

"I can see your skeleton." Bubbles said.

"No! No! No!" the professor hissed. "Over there! Look toward the street!"

"Oh!" Bubbles turned her head out toward the front yard-where the wall she had her forehead pressed against looked like clear plastic now. She saw that on the other side of the window, a car had been pulled up, and in the car, none other than the groom was sitting inside talking on the phone.

"Hey! Antonio's here!" Bubbles said excitedly. "I should call Blossom-" she was stopped by her father.

"I know, he's been here for a whole two minutes!" hissed her father. "I would...just like to know what he's talking about on the phone he has there." He said calmly. "Just...curious."

"What?" Bubbles narrowed her eyes at her father's skeleton and undid her x-ray vision to see a very worried father staring back at her. "Professor what is this all about?"

"Just do it!" Professor wildly pointed toward the wall again. "Read his lips if you have to. Or...or use your super hearing! I almost forgot you had that too!"

"Professor, I'm not going to _spy_ on my sister's fiance!" Bubbles hissed. "Shame on you!"

"We can buy a puppy." Professor said.

"I don't even live here anymore!" Bubbles rolled her eyes. "And I'll much rather save one from the pound."

"Then-then... do it for your father. Your father who lives all alone in this roomy house! And...has too much time on his hands that all he does is worry, and worry about his girls and-"

"Ok, ok, I'll do it." Bubbles grumbled. "That's a dirty card, Professor. And just so you know, I'm doing this merely to prove to you that Antonio is a nice guy."

"Quick! Is he moving? Is he still there?" the Professor asked excitedly, and peered through the window and gave Bubbles the thumbs up. Bubbles rolled her eyes before she activated her enhanced eyesight again. The walls became as clear as glass, she didn't want to hike up her super hearing until she saw something suspicious.

That's when Bubbles noticed something. Professor noticed her furrow her brow.

"What? What?" Professor asked.

"He is so, _so_ fit."

Professor pressed his hands over his eyes, and made a sound that resembled a sob.

"No, I mean...even for a citizen. I swear he could easily bench press... well, 300? I'm guessing. His muscles just look abnormally...big."

"Steroids?" Professor suddenly perked up. "He's on steroids?"

"N...no, steroids fill your muscles up with fat before turning into ridiculously fake-looking muscles. He has natural ones...it's just..." Bubbles scratched her chin. "What is it? He always did look familiar...I swear it's on the tip of my tongue..."

"Well who is he talking to?" the Professor asked hurriedly.

"Hm." Bubbles still wasn't comfortable eavesdropping, but the minute she picked up Antonio's warm voice talking to someone in a comforting tone in Portuguese. "Oh, he's only talking to his mama." She said, hearing him address his mother a few times before she turned her attention away from the scene.

"Oh." The Professor said in a strangely distant tone. "Oh, I see..."

"Professor." Bubbles sighed and reached over to put a hand on her father's shoulder. "Antonio's a nice guy, you don't have to worry. He doesn't seem like a villain...in fact if anybody's a villain at this wedding, it's Blossom. She's driving everyone _nuts_." She said, "Why can't you give him a chance?"

"I'd like to, sweetheart." The Professor said in a weak voice, he shifted into sitting Indian-style with his back pressed against the wall. "But when your most reasonable daughter is marrying a man after only knowing him for five months, you can't help but feel uneasy."

"Hey." Bubbles reached a reassuring hand out and touched her father's shoulder. "Blossom's a big girl, she can take care of herself. And, if Antonio's not the right guy...Blossom can set him straight. We both know that."

"Y-yes...I guess you're...right..." the Professor sighed.

"Yeah, I-"

"Bubbles!" Blossom was suddenly standing right in front of them, and she was glaring down at her sister. "You'll wrinkle your dress! Come on!" she hissed and yanked her sister up. "Can you do me the big BIG favor of checking everyone's invitations and personal identification cards before they file into their seats? It would help out _so_ much."

"What?" Bubbles narrowed her eyes. "Like... _card_ people at a wedding? Blossom that is ridiculous."

"No, it would be ridiculous if I wasn't a superhero that _didn't_ have dangerous enemies, but unfortunately I am and I do. _So_." Blossom said quickly and produced a thick clipboard she procured from nowhere and passed it over to Bubbles. "These are all the people that will be on _my_ side of the wedding. Antonio's guests are on the green-tinted papers." She said and then stopped. "I don't want any mishaps. Got it?" she smiled brightly.

Bubbles opened her mouth to respond but was quickly cut off by one of Blossom's sudden hugs that she's been passing around to her sisters since the wedding was announced. It made her sisters completely incapable of arguing or defending themselves when she suddenly threw affection in their face. Bubbles had forgotten that Blossom was a pretty decent hugger.

"I know this is a lot of work, but remember, after my wedding is over and you realize how _perfect_ everything was, you'll want me to do the same for you and you'll be glad you learned from _my_ wedding! Besides it's an important rule of thumb to check the list _twice_." Blossom smiled happily while pulling away. She patted her sister's shoulders. "Ok! I- Professor! Get off the floor! You'll hurt your back!" Blossom yanked yet another family member up from the floor. "What are you two doing by the window anyway-?" Blossom's attention was finally brought to the window, where she squeaked.

"It's Antonio! Oh god, I hope he didn't see me! What's he doing here so early? Quick! Tell him that I'm already at the club house, ok? " Blossom said pushing Bubbles toward the door and zipping away in streaks of pink.

Just as Bubbles was going to send Professor an incredulous look, the pink streak was back. "Also, Bubbles, meet me at the club house in twenty minutes— we need to do your hair."

"My _hair_?" Bubbles touched her hair which she had just recently curled and preened herself for a good half hour.

"I got an extra hair stylist just for Buttercup, since, you know...she's not very good at doing anything with it. You'll need to help me hold her down while they do their job. Oh, and afterwards, you can get those pretty bows in your hair." Blossom added brightly. "Wow! See how that works out so nicely?" she asked in a fake incredulous tone.

Professor jumped back when the clipboard in Bubble's hand snapped loudly in two.

* * *

Buttercup was confused.

She just didn't understand why Butch wasn't annoying the living daylights out of her anymore. Since she was pulled into the Utonium residence and forced into unflattering dresses, forced to be her sister's slave monkey and whatever else-Butch had a mountainful of opportunities and chances to drop in to humiliate her. However, Butch had been hanging out in the living room-playing Buttercup's old video games while asking her grandpa inappropriate questions. In Butch's case, he was on his best behavior. Strangely, this upset Buttercup.

She looked over toward Blossom who was climbing into Mr. McNoy's car with a bunch of boxes in her hands.

"What did you tell Butch?" Buttercup asked cautiously as she started up the car. Blossom shut the door and buckled herself in a hurry just as Buttercup backed up to make a u-turn.

"Nothing." Blossom said casually.

"Come on." Buttercup growled. "He hasn't bothered me since we got here." She started driving toward the club house that would host Blossom's wedding.

"Which just makes his presence that much more suspicious..." Blossom agreed. "but I had a feeling you'd end up dragging him along so I had an extra seat for him at the reception ready. And if he doesn't behave, I know that all I have to do is make your life hell, and in consequence, he'll pay in the end." She said this all so casually that it almost didn't sound evil.

Buttercup sent her sister a scathing glare. "Seriously, Blossom... I'm asking politely. What the hell did you say to Butch?"

"Nothing!" Blossom said defensively. "Just that if he ruined my wedding, I'll kill him."

Buttercup's tense shoulders relaxed that instant. "That's it?" she shook her head in disbelief. "That doesn't make any sense! He doesn't give a shit about that."

Blossom looked at her nails. "I'm aware. But I have things ready if he gets out of control."

Buttercup shook her head and scoffed. "No you don't. You don't know what he's like when he wants to have 'fun'. You must have threatened him... better than I could!" she said in disbelief.

"Buttercup." Blossom laughed. "No offense, but when it comes to threatening Butch, you're a major softie."

Buttercup slammed on her breaks. Blossom shrieked. A bunch of things inside of the car seemed to thump around as well.

"Buttercup!" Blossom scolded.

"Take that back! That is SO not true!"

"Ugh!" Blossom looked around and put a hand to her heart. "You're lucky we're driving in a deserted residential zone. In normal circumstances you could have severely injured-"

"Blossom!" Buttercup shouted. "Cut the crap! You want to talk to me about how I handle my-" Buttercup cut herself off before she said the dreaded word 'boyfriend' and swallowed, "Butch" she replaced craftily before turning her attention back on the road. "Don't you dare tell me how I should deal with my...certain people."

"I'm sorry." Blossom rolled her eyes. "No, really, I'm sorry. Can we get to the club house now?"

Buttercup huffed and put her foot on the gas pedal. She noticed her sister looking strangely at her and snapped her attention back toward her pink sister. "What?" she put on the breaks again.

"He _is_ acting pretty unusual. Maybe he _is_ planning to crash my wedding." Blossom muttered.

"Yeah. You think?" Buttercup asked dryly.

"You know what you have to do, don't you?" Blossom suddenly said.

"Wha-? _Me?"_ Buttercup whined.

"Make him drink this. You can mix it in his drink." Blossom said and passed something to Buttercup. It was a veil of grey liquid.

Buttercup recoiled instantly. "Antidote X?" she held out the veil at arm's length. Eyeing it in disbelief.

"Just a small dose, nothing to get upset over. It's mostly sleeping pills. He'll just get really sleepy." Blossom said. "He'll sleep through the wedding, and he can come to the after party with barely any druggy side effects. It's harmless."

"You're being serious." Buttercup hissed. "Blossom, this is pure genius and pure evil at the same time. This-" she held up the veil with its concoctions. "Is Mojo material."

"Oh stop." Blossom actually laughed lightly, "You're just saying that."

"THAT WASN'T A COMPLIMENT, BLOSSOM!" Buttercup yelled. "God! What the hell is wrong with you? Is getting married turning you into a psycho?"

"No." Blossom said coldly. "But _you_ just proved to me that you're a major softy when it comes to Butch. This isn't antidote X, by the way, it's Professor's cough syrup." Blossom reached over to pluck the veil out of Buttercup's hand. "That can't fly during my wedding. I promise you, if Butch misbehaves, I do have an alternative plan, and I don't want you to interfere with that." Buttercup was just about to cut in, when Blossom kept talking, "-And I think Butch knows that I am one puff that doesn't like to get 'screwed over', no offense to you, BC." She said breezily.

Buttercup stared at Blossom in disbelief. "You're being a BITCH, Blossom."

Blossom realized her mistake a tad bit too late again. She rubbed her eyes. "I'm sorry. That was out of line."

"Damn right!" Buttercup hissed. "You know what? No. For that comment alone. I get to wear my green dress again. I need something in return for that major bitch-move. Fess up. What do I get?"

"Buttercup!" Blossom whined. "I said I was sorry."

"Sorry isn't going to cut it, brat." Buttercup hissed. "Fess up."

"Fine, you don't have to... you don't have to wear a bow, anymore."

Buttercup grit her teeth. "You were going to make me wear a fucking _bow_?"

"But you don't have to do that now!" Blossom said brightly. "Yay?"

"No, I need something more than that."

"Ugh... Ok, how about... how about you don't need to come to my wedding?"

Buttercup furrowed her brow, and balked. "What?"

"What with you COMPLAINING at everything I do-even though it's MY wedding!" Blossom shouted, and immediately started sobbing. "I can't have all of my bridesmaids except ONE wearing green, what are you completely selfish? People will be staring at YOU, and what about Bubbles? What about ME?"

"Blossom-"

"I want you to be part of my wedding because you're my sister and you're supposed to LOVE ME MORE THAN YOUR STUPID VILLAINOUS BOYFRIEND!"

"He's not my-Ok! Ok! You fucking win!" Buttercup shouted. "You big, brat! I hate you so much right now!" she finally pushed the car forward again. The two puffs didn't notice that two or three more cars had been catching up to them, and was slowing down themselves.

"Oh thank goodness I didn't put on my makeup yet. I can't keep crying whenever you disagree to one of my plans." Huffed the pink puff.

"No kidding." Buttercup grit her teeth, noticing Blossom calmly wiping her face of her 'tears'. Buttercup finally sighed, "So I guess what you're trying to say is if Butch ruins your wedding, you'll blame me."

"Essentially." Blossom said breezily.

"But he's _grandpa_ 's plus one." Buttercup whined.

"I already drilled grandpa on what to do if Butch gets out of control. But Grandpa doesn't have superpowers, so I expect you to support grandpa if Butch goes nuts. " Blossom said calmly. The way she said it had so many hidden messages that Buttercup felt tense again.

Buttercup furrowed her brows. "Seriously, Bloss... what did you tell him?" she said in a dreaded voice.

"Nothing!" Blossom hissed in annoyance. "Next left. _Put your blinkers on_." She snapped quickly.

Buttercup loudly started to grind her teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you're not completely hatin' on Blossom. You know, deep down, she's got a point. Blinkers are important.
> 
> To be continued.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: *paste disclaimer here*

"Buttercup!" Robin greeted Buttercup once she entered the bride's dressing room. "You look beautiful." Robin herself was wearing the same brides maid dress, and even had a bow atop her head.

"I don't care if I love you, I _will_ harm you if you say that to me again." Buttercup warned half-heartedly just as Robin came over to hug her. Buttercup patted her good friend's back and just when she was about to pull away, Robin held on.

"Help." Robin whispered to Buttercup's ear.

"What the hell happened now?" Buttercup groaned.

"The...cake..." Robin started, but suddenly jerked away from the hug as Blossom barged into the room. "Blossom! Hey girl friend!" she greeted awkwardly. Blossom only passed her a strange look in return before dumping her wedding dress supplies around the vanity mirror.

"Hi Robin, did the cake come in?" Blossom asked.

"It's here!" Robin laughed. "It's...big, and pink, and really yummy looking! It just looks so...cakey. Yum, yum, yum~!"

Blossom turned around, cool and collected, and Buttercup saw that calculative look flitting across her eyes. Blossom suspected something, and Buttercup loved Robin too much to see Blossom try to drain the truth from her.

"I just saw it." Buttercup saved the day. "Did you want peach-flavored frosting?"

"Yes." Blossom relaxed a bit. "Good, and it's apple-blossoms decorating the cake, right? No silly cherry blossoms?"

"No." Buttercup reassured. "Does this mean the bakers can keep their miserable cherry-blossom loving lives?"

Blossom huffed, "Don't try to joke around, Buttercup. This is serious business. Can you help me get the rest of the stuff out of the car?" she asked and walked back out the door without waiting for a reply.

"Thank you." Robin hissed once Blossom disappeared.

"What the hell happened to the _cake_?" Buttercup hissed back. Robin only gave her a choking sound from the back of her throat. She was obviously panicking. "What?" Buttercup gave her the look.

"There's a stripper inside of it." Robin finally admitted with closed eyes.

In normal circumstances, both girls would have been lol'ing right now...but strangely, they both looked stone cold. Buttercup clutched her hair, while Robin was clutching her stomach to keep the nervousness from turning into full-blown nausea.

"W...what?" Buttercup gaped.

"HELLO? HELP ME!" Blossom's voice rang from outside.

Just then, Blossom's other best friend and bride's maid, Wednesday came in with running mascara and spastic breathing. Robin motioned for Wednesday to help the bride wildly and Buttercup didn't even get the chance to wave in greeting, still frozen over by the truth of the wedding cake.

"I'm coming, Blossom! Buttercup's busy!" Wednesday's voice carried out down the hallways.

Buttercup looked at Robin incredulously. "How did a stripper end up in her cake?"

"Wednesday and I had a mix-up...We picked up the cake with the apple-blossom decorations, but it turns out the bakers actually DID make a mistake and the ones with the cherry-blossom decoration was Blossom's cake. The Apple-Blossom cake was supposed to be for some 80-year-old woman's birthday. Her name is Apple Blossom. Gawd, Buttercup, what am I going to do?"

"An 80-year-old...woman? Wait, wait, so a _male_ stripper is inside of Blossom's wedding cake."

"Yes." Robin groaned. "And I have a feeling he _might_ be over the normal stripper age-range."

"Like?"

"Um. 60?"

"Wow, so this Apple Blossom is a cougar." Buttercup tried to bring a laugh, but Robin only started to clutch her stomach harder.

"Buttercup!" Robin said, near tears. "What should I do?"

"Ok, just wait. Bubbles will be coming soon and..." Buttercup stopped quickly and shook her head, Bubbles was busy like the rest of them. They needed outside, non-brides maid help, "No, you know what–I know exactly the person who can help us." Buttercup pulled out her cell phone and pushed a speed dial and pressed it to her ear. "Butch is here."

"Butch?" Robin's eyes widened, first with shock and then with interest. "Ohhh, so you did decide to bring the infamous bad-boy boyfriend after all?"

"He's not my–" Buttercup was interrupted when Butch answered his phone on the other line. "Butch, get your ass over here."

"Huh? I'm already here." Butch's voice said on the other line. But Buttercup knew that he was still at the Utonium residence.

"I left Professor's house ten minutes ago."

"Huh? Wha–?" was Butch's automatic reply, it was the kind of reply a girlfriend would get when her boyfriend was concentrating on his videogame more than their conversation.

"Put the controller down, and get your butt down to the Townsville public garden's club house! Hurry!"

"Why?" Butch whined, "I'm on the last level."

"This is an emergency!" Buttercup pressed. "If you want to come to this stupid wedding, you will get your ass down here!"

"Buttercup," Robin was starting to feel discouraged by listening to the conversation and started to make a high-pitched whining noise. "Buttercup!" she snapped, "Let's just get the stripper out of the cake ourselves and-"

"Stripper?" a voice rang through the phone and Buttercup winced as Butch repeated, "STRIPPER?" in a loud voice on the other end. A gust of wind toppled the girls over before Butch was suddenly in the room, his phone crushed in one hand.

"WHERE?" he asked, and stopped to double-take on Buttercup and her dress.

"Come on." Buttercup motioned for Robin to follow. "Lead us to the cake, let's take care of this quickly."

"Buttercup." Butch stopped her by grabbing her shoulders. Buttercup frowned as Butch looked her up and down.

"Butch, can you help us with the wedding cake?" Robin asked cutting in front of his view of Buttercup's pink dress.

"Buttercup." Butch said again, in a voice that was much, much softer. "You... you look..."

Buttercup rolled her eyes. "I know. It's pink."

"We really need your help, Butch." Robin explained and pushed Butch, who still continued to stare at Buttercup, out the door. Unfortunately, right as Robin, Buttercup, and Butch were stumbling out into the hallway, Blossom and her gang of make up artists, florists, and hair stylists appeared.

"What in the world is going on?" Blossom frowned, looking at Butch and sending him a nasty glare.

Butch tensed for a moment. "Uh... threesome?"

Butch yelped when both Buttercup and Robin kicked his legs. "It was a joke! She knows I was joking!" he snapped down at Buttercup, but was interrupted by a fiery redhead stepping up to him.

"No." Blossom said coolly. "It looks like you're causing trouble, and the girls were escorting you out. If I have to see them pestering over you again, I will make sure you regret coming to my wedding after your month-long coma."

The threat hung in the air, and Buttercup was surprised that it did its effect when Butch took a shaky step back from the shorter, red-headed woman.

"She _crazy_." Butch whispered in a frightened voice toward the green-eyed sister, who only huffed and crossed her arms.

"Ok." Blossom said in a fake chirpy voice. "I'm going to get ready. Buttercup, Eduardo is going to do your hair, ok? Come back as soon as you get rid of the ruff." She waved toward Butch.

"Right." Buttercup muttered, not really paying attention. "Come on, ruff."

"I have a name, you know!" Butch frowned, but Buttercup shoved him onward.

"Just keep moving." Buttercup grumbled.

"The cake is this way." Robin informed and led them outdoors to a large open terrace where the reception would take place in the Townsville public gardens.

"Hey, not too shabby!" Butch remarked, taking a look around. Buttercup herself only helped plan it, and hadn't actually seen it. The hours of finding out where people were going to sit, and how the meals were going to be organized seemed to pay off. This place was beautiful!

A wooden patio supported pink and soft cream-colored ribbons criss-crossing the air, along with pastel pink paper lanterns scattered here and there. In the center of the beautiful ornaments and table placements, stood a huge cake. The cake was lightly pink, with lovely sugar flowers covering the entire cake. It was elegant and simple, and... and was it snoring?

"Right when we were going to put Blossom and Antonio's figures on the very top, the cake _spoke_." Robin said, recalling the horrifying incident. "He's been asking for Coke Zero for a while." She said and produced a can of it from her small clutch purse. Robin pushed a straw into the cake, and then stuck the opposite end in the soda pop.

"How did that fit that in your purse?" Buttercup asked looking at the can of coke zero.

"Why thank you, dearie!" said the old croon's voice from inside of the cake, making Buttercup jump back.

"Aw, what!" Butch shouted, "A guy? A _male_ stripper?" he put his hands on his hips. "Why the hell would you ever put a guy in a cake?"

"This would be funny if I wasn't so scared of Blossom's wrath." Buttercup sighed. "Butch, can you send this back to the bakery and pick up Blossom's real cake?"

"Huh?" Butch looked annoyed. "What? Why the hell for?"

Robin cut in before Buttercup could start loudly swearing up a storm. "Blossom will really appreciate it? Also–if a naked, sixty-year-old man jumped out of her wedding cake, she will definitely want to blame the evilest mastermind at her wedding, and all fingers will point to you."

"I'm not scared of Blossom." Butch said defiantly.

"Oh really?" Robin said narrowing her eyes. "What if she heard you say that right now?"

"Wha–, Is she here?" Butch asked, and froze. "She's standing right behind me, isn't she?" he whispered.

Suddenly, Buttercup screamed. "FUCK YOU!"

Butch and Robin turned to Buttercup, shocked.

"You're scared of _her? Blossom?_ What about _me?_ " Buttercup demanded, stomping a pink heeled foot to accentuate her annoyance. "You should be more scared of me! You should deliver this cake because if you don't-I'll...I'll...I'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL!"

"Oh yeah?" Butch laughed. "How?"

"I know you more than Blossom. I can threaten you better!" Buttercup reasoned, pointing a threatening finger toward him.

"Um, is this some sick... Powerpuff dominance thing? Who cares who threatens who better?" Robin asked softly toward her good friend.

"What are you going to do, Buttercup?" Butch prodded. "What?"

"I'm going to destroy all of your things." Buttercup said, but when Butch scoffed she scoffed herself and said, "I'm not finished. I'll sell all of your baseball cards–and yeah, I know you own them, god what are you, twelve?"

Butch started to balk.

"I'll set fire to your boxing gloves. Oh, and I won't sleep with you anymore." Buttercup finished. "I can come up with more, do you want me to continue?"

Butch remained silent before he started to visibly shake in anger. "All because of a _cake_?"

"YEAH GOD DAMN RIGHT! WHY THE HELL IS MY SISTER BETTER AT BOSSING YOU AROUND THAN ME? SHE'S THE LEADER AMONGST HER SISTERS, NOT YOU TOO!"

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?"

"YOU'RE AVOIDING MY QUESTION! YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! SO WHY THE HELL DO YOU LISTEN TO MY _SISTER_ OF ALL PEOPLE, YOU FUCKFACE!"

" _SHUUUUT UUUUUP_!"

Robin, Buttercup, and Butch jumped when they realized that it was the cake that silenced them.

"A-hem." The cake coughed. "I think there is a misunderstanding. Am I at Apple Blossom's birthday bash?"

"No." Robin said daintily. "You're at Blossom Utonium and Antonio Russo's wedding."

"Oh! I heard about that in the papers."

"Yeah, look, is there a way for us to get you out of the cake without delivering you back to the bakery?" Buttercup asked impatiently.

"There is the very top of this cake. I can break through it now if you want."

"No, no, no." Robin whispered to Buttercup, "It would make a big mess! We wouldn't be able to cover it."

"Is there a way for you to get out without the destruction of the cake?" Buttercup asked again.

"No." the stripper said. "Not that I know of. Hey, don't you have superpowers or something? Why don't you figure it out?"

Buttercup grit her teeth.

"Take him back to the bakery." Buttercup demanded toward Butch.

"Or what?" Butch said defiantly.

"I'll tell Blossom!" Robin cut in, before Buttercup turned completely red in the face.

Butch glared over toward Robin, and then at Buttercup, who looked extremely troubled by something and then huffed.

"Fine."

Buttercup crossed her arms. For some reason, his agreement only made her more upset.

"Write down the address." He asked Robin, who started to thank him over and over and shuffled in her clutch purse for a pen.

Buttercup started to stomp back into the club house.

* * *

Bubbles thanked yet another relative who passed over her identification card along with her wedding invitation.

"Is this really necessary, Bubbles?" her Aunt Laura asked kindly as Bubbles skimmed the name and photo dimly. Her husband, Eugene Utonium, was already inside helping out with the wedding preperations.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry." Bubbles sighed, "Blossom's just making extra sure no villains crash her wedding."

"Oh, I guess that makes sense." Aunt Laura nodded. "Well, good luck darling."

"Thanks." Bubbles said, trying not to sound too miserable. "Next." She called out, and held out her hand for the invitation. She had put up large posters in front of the entrance of the Townsville gardens that instructed all guests to have their invitations and id cards ready, but people still stopped in front of her with a stupid look on their faces and started to shuffle through their things when held her hand out. As if those posters she worked on were just for 'fun'.

However, she was pleased when she felt a cool slip of paper touch her hands.

"Thaaaaank you." Bubbles skimmed the invitation. "Huh? Granny Texas?" she looked up and balked.

A grandmother stared back at her with a nervous looking grin. A bright pink straw hat with a large, tacky sunflower that clashed with the grandmother's thick red curly hair was the first thing that caught Bubble's eye. The poor woman was wearing bright blue eye shadow, a bright magenta dress that hung off of one rather built shoulder, and turquoise leggings. The woman also clutched a huge hand bag that looked like it was going to rip apart any minute from whatever was weighing the thing down. To finish it all off, she was wearing the worst pair of white heels that Bubbles had ever seen.

But as Bubbles inwardly criticized the older woman's fashion taste, she was also beating herself up for not recognizing this 'Granny Texas'. She remembered the name, but she swore that Granny Texas never looked this odd before.

"Granny...Texas?" Bubbles repeated.

"Um," the grandmother adjusted the straps to her dress. This grandma had really big biceps. What was it today? First Antonio looked like he was a body builder, and now Granny Texas too? Maybe her eyesight was failing her again?

Granny Texas coughed into her hand before a really uncomfortable sounding high-pitched voice started to pour out of her mouth. "Y-yes! Don't you remember me? Bubbles? Your Granny Texas! I am your grandmother Utonium's sister!"

"Oh..." Bubbles imagined the Granny Texas she knew, and realized she really hadn't met her very much in her entire life. And before she could help it, she started to say, "Granny Texas, what big eyes you have..."

Granny Texas's big, navy blue eyes blinked quickly, before a nervous laugh filled the air. "The better to see the wedding with, my dear!"

"Granny Texas, what a big bag you have." Bubbles continued.

"The better to hold wedding presents with, my dear!" the old lady tittered.

"Granny Texas, what big...hands you have." Bubbles noted, realizing they were even bigger than hers.

"The better to catch the bouquet with, my dear!"

"Not if I catch it first!" Bubbles quickly interrupted with a charming smile. "Ok, you can go inside. It's nice to see you again, Granny Texas."

"Nice to see you too, Bubbles." The grandmother said quickly and was about to dash inside of the wedding, when Bubbles suddenly cut in front of her way.

"Hey wait!" Bubbles said, defensively.

Granny Texas, squared her large shoulders. She held up a defensive front herself, puffing out a chest that looked suspiciously flat.

"Don't I get a hug?" Bubbles asked, erasing all of the tension in the masculine grandmother's shoulders.

"Huh? You're kidding me, right?" The grandmother said in a strangely masculine voice.

"Huh?" Bubbles frowned.

"Oh! I mean... sure!" the grandmother said in her high-pitched screech again. Bubbles gave her the customary grandma-hug, where she made sure not to squeeze the elder too much, but when granny Texas's large arms came crushing her very being, she just awkwardly started to laugh.

"Wow Grandma, how...strong you are!" Bubbles laughed, and pulled back.

"The better to crash the wedding with, my dear." Muttered the grandmother as she walked away. "Haha! Joking!" she turned around and waved brightly. Bubbles laughed as well, and waved cheerfully in return.

"Next!" she chirped, but felt her mood change drastically when next in line happened to be the Mayor who was just starting to rifle through all of his pockets to find his invitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be Continued...


End file.
